Introducing Margaret “Meg” Kincaid, Ph.D

Dr. Meg Kincaid joined Tuesday’s Child in October, 2012. Meg is a licensed Clinical Psychologist and earned her Ph.D. in Clinical and School Psychology from Hofstra University in New York. She worked as a school psychologist for many years in Port Washington, New York and more recently for a north shore district near Chicago. Dr. Kincaid also works in clinical settings, serving as a cognitive behavioral psychologist for pediatric and adult patients in private practice and in hospital settings.

Discipline: Taking the "NO" Out

When my children were in preschool, it seemed I was always one step behind my kids when it came to discipline; No jumping on the couch!” “Stop fighting!” and  “Put your brother down!!!” Also, my kids always had a reason for their misbehavior,  ie., I’m not jumping; he started it, and he likes it.  So any “no, don’t or stop” from me cultivated an argument – yes you are jumping; or a discussion -- he started what; or a screaming match -- PUT HIM DOWN NOW!!! In fact, much of what I said to the kids started with no, don’t or stop.

At Tuesday’s Child, I learned to use scripts that were encouraging and provided a clear message what my child should do.  “Your feet belong on the floor” (it’s the rule – they can’t argue that); “stop and listen to each other, do you need my help?” (Listening is a great tool for them to learn to use in a disagreement, and I really should get involved before it gets out of hand), and “your brother’s feet belong on the ground.  He is crying – he is not having fun.”  Firmly reminding kids what they should be doing, instead of yelling out limits and restrictions changed the overall tone in my house. My kids were much more apt to listen to the encouraging mommy – instead of the mad mommy. I also empowered by kids by letting them make their own choices and taught them about making good choices at the same time. When my 5 year old wanted a cookie 10 minutes before dinner, I didn’t say “No way, dinner is in 10 minutes” because that would send him into a tantrum. Instead, I said “that’s a great choice for after dinner, I’ll put it right here on the counter so we’ll remember it’s your dessert”.  

The Friendship Club: A Social Skills Group for children ages 5-8

Tuesday's Child is offering a series of Social Skills Groups for children age 5-8.  Kids will become social detectives as they work on skills related to emotions, friendships, and appropriate behaviors. Groups are open to all but Tuesday’s Child alumni have priority.

Groups meet on Saturdays February 23^rd – March 30th
Ages 5 - 6: 9:00 - 10:00 AM
Ages 7 - 8: 10:15 - 11:15 AM

Concepts covered in the curriculum:

• Social Smarts: The type of "smarts" in our brains that we use whenever we are around other people. Social smarts help our brains to know that others are having thoughts about us and we are having thoughts about them. We use social smarts in school, at home, and EVERYWHERE!
• School Smarts: Different types of "smarts" in our brains that we use for school learning.
• Body in the group: Your body is in the group if others feel you are part of the group.
• Brain in the group: Your brain is in the group when others feel that you are paying attention to what is happening in the group.
• Thinking with your eyes: This means that you are using your eyes to look at a person and it makes them feel that you are thinking about what they are saying or doing.

Groups will be led by Katie Conklin, M. Ed., LPC, Program Director at Tuesday’s Child and supervised by Meg Kincaid, Ph.D.

REGISTER NOW ONLINE or call 773-423-5055

It’s Testing Time –Make Sure Your Child is Set up for Success

The process of putting an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) in place at your child’s school is long and challenging. As parents, we often know best what helps our child succeed whether it’s a one-on-one aide, sensory breaks or fidgets. The school’s evaluations determine the need for speech, occupational, or other therapy services. Together, the team comes up with a plan and, ideally, it’s monitored and adjusted as necessary to be most helpful to the child. When the IEP process is completed in Kindergarten, 1st or even 2nd grade, state mandated testing is in the distant future. Alas, time flies and your child is in 3rd grade and facing the ISAT test in March. There are many accommodations that can be put in place to help kids with standardized tests including the ISAT, MAP Testing and placement exams for Gifted and Classical programs. Once the accommodations are documented in an IEP or 504 Plan, the test administrators (usually the school) have to adhere to them. Here are some examples of testing accommodations:

 ¨ Additional time for testing

¨ Frequent breaks

¨ Testing in small groups or individual settings

¨ Large print textbooks

¨ Adaptive writing utensils

¨ Reading directions and/or questions to students

¨ Oral testing

  

So, don’t wait to incorporate standardized testing into your child’s IEP or 504 Plan. Remind the team at your school to address this topic well in advance. It will save you some anxiety later, not to mention help your child do as well as possible on the test.

Before Time Outs - JoAnne Loper's article is Winter NPN Newsletter

JoAnne's article is in the Winter NPN Newletter that just came in the mail.  

BEFORE TIME OUTS

Strong-willed children tend to start listening more when parents’ attention is positive. Also, giving

specificity to behaviors you want to increase is more effective than simply saying “good job.” Some families need to do more

to change bad behavior, but acknowledgement and praise is the foundation that must be in place before other behavior

management tools can be effective.

Three critical behaviors to acknowledge in your children are making good choices, being a good listener and being safe.

Successful practice of these behaviors will remain important in every stage of your child’s life.

Parents often ask, “How can I stop my child from hitting/jumping on the couch/whining or crying to get his way, etc.?”

Often, these parents are surprised at the answer. It’s not, “Usetime outs effectively” or “Make sure your child understands the

consequences of misbehavior.” Rather than the consequence, or even the misbehavior itself, parents should focus on noticing

and praising the good behavior, however rare it might seem. Parents also should try to understand what motivates their

child to cooperate or follow rules; since you can’t motivate after a bad behavior, this requires you to be one step ahead of

the kids. To begin with, it’s best for parents to examine what precedes and follows their child’s good behaviors.

Specific praise first

An important first step in changing bad behavior is to always acknowledge the good behavior, or “reinforce” the

behaviors you want to see more often. 

• When your child holds your hand and cooperatively gets

into her car seat, say, “Holding my hand and getting into the

car nicely shows that you know how to be safe!”

• When your child follows a direction on the first request: “I

appreciate that you listened quickly.”

• When your child calmly picks between the sweatshirt and

the sweater: “That’s a good choice.”

• When you notice that your children are playing together

nicely (i.e., not fighting, screaming, jumping on the furniture,

etc.): “You guys are playing so nicely together.”

Tuesday’s Child provides programming for families across the Chicagoland area,

utilizing a unique parent training model and a child center where professional

staff reinforce parenting techniques and promote school readiness. JoAnne Loper,

director of parent training at Tuesday’s Child, has four boys ages 13 to 25.

JoAnne Loper facebook post -- good catch JoAnne!

Hi friends and alumni!
The Today Show (CBS morning show) aired a segment on “How to Tame Your Tot’s Tantrum”. A Yale University Research-based study recommends parent training! Teaching parents to praise appropriate behavior, thus teaching children how to how to react when disappointed, frustrated and angry!!! Does this sound familiar?? 
All of us who have been “catching our child being good” for years can pat ourselves on our back and say “Good job attending Tuesday’s Child!”

In Support of Waiting on Kindergarten

The Neighborhood Parents Network is making an effort to get CPS to allow kids with IEPs, including social/emotional delays, to start Kindergarten at age 6. In support of their effort, Tuesday's Child, sent this letter.

To Whom It May Concern:

Tuesday’s Child supports the concept of children entering kindergarten at the age of six.  We believe offering a developmentally appropriate curriculum to children provides them with the necessary tools for continued school success.

In 2003 the Illinois Children’s Mental Health Task Force stated that one forth to one third of children entering kindergarten do not have the necessary skills to succeed in school, and a 2005 Yale University study estimated that more than 5,000 U.S. preschoolers are expelled each year – a rate three times higher than in elementary or high school.

There are children who need to spend additional time focused on the practical school readiness skills that preschool provides.  The preschool years emphasize and nurture increasing attention span, understanding rules and following directions. Practicing the art of conversation is another social goal for a preschooler, as is the art of taking turns or asking for permission. Sharing the teacher's attention is an important pre-requisite to kindergarten. Circle time is a time for preschoolers to practice and learn how to be inclusive, to sit patiently and hear about the key parts of his/her day.  Tuesday’s Child believes that for children with social/emotional delays, having an extra year to foster these skills greatly improves their ability to be life-long learners.

Sincerely,

Katherine Conklin, M.Ed                   Jo Anne Loper

Program Director                                Director of Parent Education